Christmas Carols for Romance Writers

The Twelve Days of Editing

(Sung to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas)

(Note—“CP” refers to Critique Partner)

On the first day of editing my CP said to me, “Your first draft’s great and this will be easy.”

On the second day of editing my CP said to me, “Watch your POVs, but your first draft’s great and this will be easy.” 

On the third day of editing my CP said to me, “Spice up the romance, Watch your POVs, but your first draft’s great and this will be easy.”

On the fourth day of editing my CP said to me, “You need more emotion, Spice up the romance, Watch your POVs, but your first draft’s great and this will be easy.”

On the fifth day of editing my CP said to me, “Your Middle Sags!  You need more emotion, Spice up the romance, Watch your POVs, but your first draft’s great and this will be easy.”

(Skip to final verse and pause while the organ music crescendos…)

On the twelfth day of editing my CP said to me, “The conflict is weak, Characters are flat, Cut 10,000 words, Dialogue is choppy, Brush up on your grammar, Scenes must advance the story, Appeal to all five senses, Your Middle Sags!  You need more emotion, Spice up the romance, Watch your POVs, but your first draft’s great and this will be easy.”

Write a Query

(Sung to the tune of Deck the Halls)

Hook the agent with one great line

Blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah

Take a moment to explain the plot line

Blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah

Be sure to mention all the passion

          Oh la la, oh la la, la la la!

Close it down in word-count fashion

Blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah

The next paragraph is all about you

Blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah

What you’ve written and what you hope to do

Blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah

Now’s the chance to toot your own horn

Blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah

And if you’ve got one, explain your platform

Blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah

One more paragraph to close the letter

Blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah

It’s okay to schmoose a bit here

Blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah

Say, “I look forward to hearing back soon”

Blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah

(Then cross your finger’s you hear before next June!)

Blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah

Oh Come, All Ye Critiquers

(Sung to the tune of Oh Come, All Ye Faithful)

Oh come, all ye critiquers

Come with your red pens.

Come and be critical of my romance novel.

Come and disparage,

All that I have written.

Oh come and please be honest.

Oh come and please be gentle.

Oh come and make this stronger, my literary child.

We Wish You much Happy Writing

(Sung to the tune of We Wish You a Merry Christmas)

We wish you much happy writing

We wish you much happy writing.

We wish you much happy writing.

And success through next year!

Glad tidings we bring,

To you ad your heroine.

Glad tidings of happy writing

And success through next year.